Jessica Sharp 
At some point in the career of most leaders an apology needs to be issued. When carefully crafted, an apology can be a powerful tool for rebuilding trust and strengthening relationships. An effective apology demonstrates accountability, empathy, and a commitment to improvement. We also know that PR folks are the primary people working behind the scenes to ensure that the apology hits the right tone. If you happen to find yourself in a situation where you need to apologize, or more likely, you’re writing an apology for someone else, here are a few tips on making sure it hits the mark.
Express genuine remorse
An apology MUST include the words “I’m sorry” or “I apologize.” This sets the tone for the entire apology and acknowledges that harm was done. Note that “I regret” is not an apology.
Specify what you’re sorry for
This means that the details of what you did must be acknowledged. Don’t talk around it. State it clearly.
Take responsibility
Use “I” statements to show personal accountability. Clearly state what you did wrong without making excuses or shifting blame.
Demonstrate that you understand the negative impact of your action
Recognize how your actions affected others. This demonstrates empathy and understanding of the consequences.
Explain with caution
If you decide to include an explanation for your actions, be careful that the explanation is not actually an excuse. Provide context so that it can help others understand the situation better. Do not try to justify the actions.
Outline steps for improvement
Detail specific actions you’ll take to prevent similar incidents in the future and make amends.
To see these steps in action, here are two examples of apologies that hit most points and were well received by key publics.
Kevin Johnson, CEO of Starbucks, apologizes for the arrest of two Black men at a store in Philadelphia. His apology is actually a series of apologies, including video and a written statement, which you can watch here. Below is the first apology that was shared shortly after the incident:
“I’m embarrassed, ashamed. The circumstances surrounding the incident and the outcome at our store on Thursday were reprehensible. They were wrong, and for that, I personally apologize to the gentlemen that visited our store. The way that incident escalated, and the outcome, was nothing but reprehensible — and I’m sorry.”
This apology actually states “I’m sorry” and he expresses remorse and personal accountability. Johnson also acknowledges the severity of the incident and avoids excuses or blaming the victims. Finally, he is specific about who is apologizing to and why he is sorry.
Airbnb CEO, Brian Chesky, apologizes after the company received criticism over racism and other forms of bias on the platform:
“Discrimination is the opposite of belonging, and its existence on our platform jeopardizes this core mission. Bias and discrimination have no place on Airbnb, and we have zero tolerance for them. Unfortunately, we have been slow to address these problems, and for this I am sorry. I take responsibility for any pain or frustration this has caused members of our community. We will not only make this right; we will work to set an example that other companies can follow.”
Chesky states that he is sorry, takes responsibility, acknowledges the impact of what happened, and makes a commitment to fix it. All within four sentences.
And here are two that don’t quite cut it.
Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis issued a non-apology for writing character letters in support of actor Danny Masterson, who was convicted of raping two women. These are a few snippets from their Instagram video apology:
“We support victims, we have done this historically through our work and we will continue to do so in the future,” said Kunis.
“A couple of months ago, Danny’s family reached out to us and they asked us to write character letters to represent the person that we knew for 25 years so that the judge could take that into full consideration relative to the sentencing,” said Kutcher.
Kunia added: “The letters were not written to question the legitimacy of the judicial system or the validity of the jury’s ruling.”
Kutcher concluded: “They were intended for the judge to read and not to undermine the testimony of the victims or retraumatize them in any way. We would never want to do that, and we’re sorry if that has taken place,” and Kunis closed the video by sharing: “Our heart goes out to every single person who’s ever been a victim of sexual assault, sexual abuse or rape.”
Some of the most egregious errors with this non-apology include the use of a passive voice and focus on intent rather than impact. The statement that “we support victims” flies in the face of their actions. Pointing out that Danny’s family asked them to write the letters and that the letters were intended for the judge shows a deflection of responsibility and a distancing from their actions. And the greatest miss: the lack of “I’m sorry.” This statement says that they’re sorry they got caught more than they’re sorry for doing it in the first place.
The backlash from this was quick and intense and resulted in Kutcher stepping down as chairman of Thorn, the anti-child-sex-abuse organization he cofounded.
On a conference call, the president of the Illinois NAACP, Teresa Haley, said some very disparaging remarks about immigrants that bordered on hate speech. The call was recorded and quickly shared with media. Haley shared this non-apology in response:
“First and foremost, I express my sincere apologies to anyone who may have been hurt or offended by my comments. I love and value all members of our communities — including immigrants. I have worked tirelessly to advocate for the underserved and the voiceless. I remain focused on denouncing injustices, racism, and discrimination. I am empathetic to the plight of all people, and I proudly serve as a beacon of hope to the hopeless. I embrace the mission of the NAACP, which is to ‘Achieve equity, political rights, and social inclusion by advancing policies and practices that expand human and civil rights, eliminate discrimination, and accelerate the well-being, education, and economic security of Black people and all persons of color.’”
Apologizing for anyone who was offended is not apologizing, it’s shifting blame to others. The rest of this non-apology is really just a highlights reel of how great she is, falling back on the mission of the NAACP as a sort of safety net. Again, the most glaring missing element from this statement: “I’m sorry for what I did.”
Remember, a well-crafted apology can actually enhance a leader’s credibility and strengthen relationships with the media and key publics. It demonstrates integrity, humility, and a commitment to growth – all qualities of effective leadership.
While an apology alone won’t turn around a crisis, it’s a good first step in the right direction and opens up the opportunity to build trust and demonstrate leadership.
If you’re interested in more good and bad apology examples, visit www.sorrywatch.com, a website that analyzes apologies in the news, media, history and literature.
Posted In Crisis Communications